How Not to Pick a Rescue Dog

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First off, I want to say that I’m all for getting rescue dogs. I have rescue dogs and I probably always will. There are tons of great dogs in Seattle that need forever homes.

There are ways to get a dog that avoid the biggest trouble, be it a purebred puppy or a rescue dog. This story is inspired by two friends of mine, who just adopted a dog for a week on a ‘trial basis.’

First, it turns out the 7-day trial is just a fancy name for a return policy. They can return the dog in 7 days and still get their money back. So instead of being able to test the dog for 7 days, and evaluating the adoption in a guilt-free way along the way, they had to pay the $350 adoption fee and can return the dog within the 7 day period. It’s a subtle difference, but a big enough one to get them stuck with a terrible match. Rather than dating before marriage, they’ve already married the dog and have 7 days to admit defeat and get an annulment.

In pretty much all cases, it’s not so much, “Is this a good or bad dog?” but rather, “Is this a good or bad match?” As in, will this dog bring more or less happiness into their lives and vice versa.

The family’s needs & situation as I see it:

Both are friendly, social people who like to have frequent parties at their house.
They will be having children in the next several years.
They are moving across the country soon and don’t have an apartment in their new city yet.
One is starting graduate school, which is HARD and TIME-CONSUMING. This is the one who wants the dog most.
They have 2 cats.
They want a running buddy for marathon distances.
They have not had a dog before as adults.

One of the reasons that they’re adopting a dog while they’re still in Seattle, my friends said, was that they’d have me nearby. Oddly, I wasn’t actually asked to come help them pick out this dog, which would be the single biggest contribution I could make. So I invited myself over to the meet-n-greet. Mea culpa.

I should know, by now, that unless people ask for your advice, they won’t be ready to take it – friends and family least of all. So I’m blogging, in the hope that maybe I can at least keep you, dear readers, from making their mistake. These are not dumb people, but rather they are making a mistake that’s all too easy to make. Here’s what I found.

The dog:

11 month old female dog.
Skin problems that require medication and weekly bathing (she also smells…seems minor, but to people who want friends over and who have not had dogs before, this can be bad). Â Full-body Demodex at this age (no longer a puppy) can also indicate overall poor health.Â
Very shy. Social with the foster mom, but only a tiny bit social with us. Shy dogs need stability and owners who are patient about not being able to have friends over, who will take the time to rehabilitate them.
Fear Aggressive. She failed a simple test where I walked a little funny, in an impression of a toddler. Not a huge version, just a little stompy. She growled at me and stood her ground, staring. She didn’t snap, but I also didn’t do the full test, since she was off leash. This could be all she does, but my guess is that it’s the tip of the iceberg, as you rarely see a dog’s worst behavior in just one go. It’s just statistics!
Poor socialization history, coupled with the stand-offishness / natural tendency toward aggression to people and other dogs in this breed means that this will take a LOT of work to fix, and she may never be a really easy dog. It will severely limit their social lives for quite a while.
Says “NO CATS” right on her adoption advertisement on Petfinder, as she and her brother use to chase down and pin cats. Extremely interested in their cats upon meeting, but was *fairly* good. But once she gets more confidence, they could end up with a dead cat. Or two.
Has never really been on walks, and so it’s hard to tell whether she’ll be good for jogging, since the dog’s breed can have trouble with overheating.

Remember, this is their first dog as adults, so they’re going to need some help with these fear issues. The $90-$200/hour it takes to meet with a dog trainer about the dog’s fears will be very expensive in their new city.

How your dog’s aggression and fear can change your life.

Hard to find places to board the dog, so vacations are more expensive or impossible. Family may not want you to bring the dog with you, either, particularly if she growls at children.
Can’t have friends over without hullaballoo. These particular people tend to have friends just dropping by, which is a shy dog’s nightmare.
May not be able to go on walks, eventually. The dog is under a year old. When she matures, the aggression will get worse, without extensive treatment.
Kids and fear aggressive dogs are a terrible mix. Have to reconsider whether they should have kids. Even if their own kids are good with the dog, what about their friends?
Can be hard to find an apartment, if the landlord insists on meeting the dog or has a small weight limit. Â Not the dog’s fault, but still, an issue if you don’t have a place to live yet!

There’s clearly a mismatch here. There are other dogs, even of the *same breed,* from that *same rescue*, that would match what they want: good with cats, dogs, and people and enjoy a lot of exercise. Frankly, if I were the foster mom and knew what a mismatch this was, I would not have let my friends adopt this particular dog.

It’s kind of like looking at lot full of used cars, and picking the one that’s been in an accident. Sure, you can repair it after a collision, usually, but it’s expensive and doesn’t always end up handling like a car that hasn’t crashed.

Nobody’s perfect, so I’m not saying that my friends should look for a dog that is 100% perfect in every way. Those dogs are only found in the stuffed dog aisle at children’s stores. But you can’t simply ignore aggression and fear, because you want a dog so badly.

There are a gazillion rescue dogs that aren’t aggressive. Why would they pick this one?

Why they are making this bad decision anyway.

1. Optimism. For one, many people tend to look at the good side of a dog during adoptions, and gloss over the red flags, even the really obvious ones, unless they have already had a dog with those problems. You can see this in dating, too!

I love my shy dog Peanut, truly, he’s my soulmate dog. He actually volunteers as a therapy dog, after years of work. But I will do everything in my power to have my future dogs be normal from the get go. I have enough projects in my life already! When I adopt a dog, it’s for the whole life of the dog, it’s a commitment of up to 15 years of my life.

When you already have a dog that’s fearful or aggressive, that’s one thing. But to have no background in training and yet optimistically think a new dog that you adopt with aggression will work out fine is crazy.

2. Lack of knowledge. As a professional dog trainer, I can see the body language and flags from a mile away. I know how long it takes to work through these problems, that they aren’t always fixable to the point of complete sociability. Why do you think we work so hard to get owners to socialize early? Later, it’s hard or impossible to change.

But regular people, especially those who haven’t had a dog before, might not see the quick freeze, the pupil dilation, the speed changes (slower when around scary things), the center of gravity (low, faced away from novelty).

3. Social psychology. When you couple the above issues with the social psychology of having already said they’d do a 7-day trial, my friends didn’t stand a chance. Now that the dog is in their home, they’re even less likely to say it’s a bad match, because then they’d have to admit to being wrong or failing or something.

4. Desire to rescue. My friends have a need to rescue this dog, and all the red flags I point out just seem to make them feel more sorry for her. But they need to concentrate on her needs and their needs and whether they match.

This dog has a very lovely foster situation that she’s been in for 8 months. Even if she were to be euthanized upon return (not at ALL the case here), I would recommend that they not adopt this dog.

There are LOTS of dogs that need rescuing, every single day, that do not show aggression.

If they rescue her and then get burned, they are less likely to get a rescue dog next time, so net-net, the dog universe suffers. If they get a rescue and love the dog and don’t have problems with aggression, then they can get another rescue next time. I know it’s cold, but it’s what’s best for the most dogs, in the big picture.

It’s not like she shouldn’t be adopted at all. In the right calm, quiet, experienced household, she may not show aggression. However, such a household will be hard to find.

What can you do to avoid adopting the wrong dog for your family?

First, learn about dog breeds and body language, from books, videos, or classes. Watch training classes or visit the park and see what dogs are not having a good time. Talk to people with different kinds of dogs and look for the hidden messages in their experiences. What does, “Not good with kids” really mean? Biting? Growling? Shy? Jumpy? Learn to read between the lines on adoption advertisements. Don’t go with the idea that you have to take a dog home with you. Maybe even hire a trainer to help you evaluate your top choices. Then take their advice!

Before you decide to meet a dog, write out a description of who you are and what you want. What are your show-stoppers? Use that to screen out the dogs on adoptapet.com, Petfinder, the breeder, or the shelter.

Bring the list with you when meeting the dog and be brutally honest when evaluating. For example, if the paperwork says, “Best with kids over 10,” and you have teenagers, don’t get the dog – those teenagers may end up bringing you grandchildren during the dog’s 10-15 years. Or you might want to pick the kids up from school (where there are younger kid) and bring your dog, who is aggressive to younger children.

Expect that any dog you get, whether it’s a puppy from a breeder or a rescue dog, will need training for jumping, pulling, house training, or some other foibles. There are no perfect dogs. But there are perfect matches – dogs with issues you can fix with basic training and/or happily live with.

Good things come to those who do their homework and choose with their heads, not just their hearts. That goes for dogs even more than houses and cars. Skipping over a dog or puppy that’s not a good match for your family means that you’ll be available with the right one comes along.

Written by Grisha Stewart, Ahimsa Dog Training, Seattle

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 16th, 2009 at 9:53 am and is filed under Tips & Safety . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

23 Responses to “How Not to Pick a Rescue Dog”

Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I’m sure these people are intelligent, warm, and caring if they are Grisha’s friends. However, the number one success factor in rescue dog adoption is that it has to be “all about the dog”. Having been a rescue dog charity volunteer, all the points regarding the couple’s needs and situation would disqualify them from adopting the Shar Pei if I were the one doing the adoption assessment. Recently I adopted a Chihuahua-terrier mix rescue, given up for adoption TWICE BEFORE and he’s not yet 3. Silly me, I had the attitude of “he’s so sweet, quiet and loving, why would anybody give him away?”. Well, in animal behaviorist lingo, he was “flooded”, completely shut down and therefore docile. It was not until he relaxed after several weeks (more than a 7 day trial) when the behavior emerged that probably got him dumped. Luckily I’ve been out of work for since I adopted him 5 months ago because I needed the free time to invest into getting him to be the awesome dog he wants to be! That has involved Ahimsa’s Barky Dog class at first, but it was apparent he needed professional help from sessions with an animal behaviorist. Then there was the need to surgically repair an umbilical hernia. Total cost: $1,200 and this doesn’t include his $450 adoption fee! So, please, lovely friends of Grisha, wait to adopt until your life can truly accommodate the special needs of a rescue dog. You and the lucky dog will be glad you waited!
Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I thought of a compromise solution: become foster family for a rescue dog charity in your new city. I fostered 6 dogs in the 8 months I was a foster parent. Given the economy, you may have the dog for a few months. Yes, you will fall in love a little with your foster dog, but the joy of seeing them placed with the perfect family will make you feel GREAT!
Grisha Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Fostering is not a bad idea, Sandi! It’s a way to help a dog out and test-drive the idea of having a dog at the same time.
Humble Reader Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Grisha~

A well written, well reasoned article. My thoughts have mostly to do with the overall tone that is used in this article that is written about your friends. It feels to me when I read this that there is a certain righteous indignation underlying your words. I have recently adopted a dog and gone through exactly the process that you outline above. In my particular case, the person making the match at the adoption agency really knew their animals and suggested the perfect match for me, thus avoiding many of the issues above.

However, were it not for this knowledge and guidance, I feel I would have fallen prey to my own enthusiasm and kind intentions (good attributes in anyone working with adopted animals) and perhaps landed with a match that was not as solid. It is obvious to me that you are quite knowledgeable about working with animals and I can hear your compassion and kindness for these dogs. At the same time, I can also see where the couple is coming from. None of the things that you have said about this scenario strike me as untrue, but I wonder if they are unkind?

Thanks for the good read,
Humble reader
Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Exactly! Reputable dog rescues will quickly rehome the dog with another foster family if the placement doesn’t work out. There is really no down side to being a foster home. You have the dog, behavioral “warts” and all, until someone shows interest in adoption, at which time you can decide to make the informed commitment yourself.
Grisha Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Humble reader, thanks for your thoughts. I was frustrated at being ignored, so that might have come through as righteous indignation. It didn’t even really sink in, until the evening and the next morning, that my advice *was* being completely ignored, so I don’t think I sounded that way to my friends.

I am more blunt in this post than I could ever be in person, but is that really unkind? Is a doctor who tells you that you have cancer being unkind, or simply giving bad news? Unkind, I think, would be not being brutally honest about the pairing’s red flags.
Carol A. Byrnes, CPDT Says:
April 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Grisha, as always, your articles are timely and informative and this one is outstanding!

I am adding a link to the Behavior FAQ section of my website (thank you for giving your permission!) in the hopes that those considering adopting a new dog will hear your words echoing as they make that journey and go into the process with their eyes wide open and having done their homework.

You and I have lived with dogs with issues and know what a huge impact it makes on our lives, even with all our years of experience to train, manage and rehabilitate to the best of our abilities. We are faced with daily requests for help from heart broken pet owners who just wanted to give the perfect home to a wonderful family dog who would enrich their lives, but instead are held hostage by a dog who is at best, simply a management issue, and at worst, a danger to themselves and others. We’ve been the support system for people who are facing parting with a pet they have grown to love. Proper selection and screening of both dog and human by knowledgable breeders/shelter/rescue staff could have prevented so many of these sad situations.

All the best and thank you again for sharing this important message to use your head as well as your heart and ask for guidance when embarking on the search for a new canine life partner.

Carol A. Byrnes, CPDT
Spokane, WA
Free Basic Dog Training Tips Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 6:12 am
Yes I also agree that it is very important to really consider whether it will be a good match. Prospective dog owners should do more reseach before making any final decisions. My suggestion would be that first time owners should rather buy a puppy from a reputable breeder who can also give them guidance in raising the puppy. They should enroll in a dog training school where they can get further guidance, rather than adopting a dog that might already have behaviour problems. I’m also all for adoption, but then rather by people who have a better knowlegde and understanding of dogs.
Jill Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Humble Reader says: “None of the things that you have said about this scenario strike me as untrue, but I wonder if they are unkind?”

If you’re speaking the truth, I don’t think it’s relevant to classify it as “kind” or “unkind” – it’s the truth, plain and simple.

Laying out the owners lifestyle and the particular dog’s characteristics is doing analysis in search of determining whether there is a good match. If you find it’s a good match, it’s no more “kind” than if it’s a bad match.

Sure the news FEELS different to the receipient, but the person doing the analysis, is not being “kind” or “unkind”, they are simply doing the analysis.

Furthermore, I hope people can appreciate that this analysis was done because these people were friends of Grisha’s – meaning that it was done pro-bono. And in my book, this is very “kind”. So I think rather than focusing on the conclusion and labeling it “unkind” because often people don’t like to be told “no, you shouldn’t do this thing you want to do”, we should focus on the very generous and compassionate gesture in spending the time to evaluate the dog and write up a detailed analysis, so that others might benefit.
Grisha Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I disagree with the idea that first time dog owners *must* get a puppy. There is so much to do when you raise a puppy and time is so critical. A new dog owner may easily fall for the advice from an old-school vet that says don’t take them anywhere until the puppy has all of their shots. With an older dog, each mistake the new dog owner makes is less risky, because the dog is already ‘cooked,’ so to speak. There’s little to no housetraining, the dog needs less vet visits, etc.

And if it turns out they aren’t dog people, after all, they haven’t stolen the dog’s puppyhood, then returned it to the breeder when it’s less cute.

With a adult dog, the temperament is already obvious, so you’ll see it in the beginning, at the very least, in the first few months. There are a LOT of shelter and rescue dogs that are perfect for first-time dog owners. They just need to be matched up well by the adoption folks. Spoon, my border collie / bassett hound came from the shelter at 7-9 months. She’s a dream of a dog, easy enough for anybody.

So all I’m saying is that there are arguments from both sides – puppy versus rescue dog – for first-time dog owners.
Laura at Dartmouth Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 11:03 am
So, what’s the verdict? Did your friends opt to keep or return the dog?
Grisha Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 11:09 am
They said that they returned the dog. However the rescue reported soon after on Petfinder that she’d been adopted, and that’s still the official status. So she’s either with them or (hopefully) in a more appropriate home.
Karen T. Says:
May 13th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
My husband and I, while not being “seasoned” dog owners, have had dogs in our lives. When our beloved Rottie died, we decided to go teh rescue route. We found a 7 month old pup at a shelter and took him home after he met our other dog and they seemed to get along well. We knew he had kennel cough when we brought him home. He growled and mildly threatened me when I foolishly tried to grab his dog dish to put in his meds. That sent us to a behaviorist and a $200.00 (I think) bill. Kennel cough quickly progressed to pneumonia and a $2000.00 bill. We were as ok as you can be with that because we thought we had found our forever dog. Unfortunately, that dog , once he was well, showed his true colors. Basically, he was 80 pounds of pure muscle and issues. He bit me two more times, the last time drawing blood. The more I walked and exercised him, the worse he got. He bullied our dog until he was scared to come near him and I was scared he was going to injure him seriously. We made the agonizing decision to return him because we knew he was a time bomb waiting to go off and we did not have 24 hours in a day to rehabilitate him. We took him back to be euthanized and are haunted by that decision to this day. We know we did the right thing. It still tears us up.

Bringing a dog into your home is serious business. Listen to Grisha.
Nancy Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am
What a great blog post. I have adopted 3 dogs in my adult life (we had BYB dogs growing up) and the first one was perfect. Oh, she was energetic but confident (not pushy) and fun to be around. I was young, just out of college, and she really shaped me. I learned to be WAY more responsible because of her.

I adopted two littermates (2 years apart) and they’ve been more of a challenge. But because I make the commitment for life, I’m doing the best I can. They are shy, have physical challenges (all kinds of genetic disorders, including personality), and once again my life is being shaped by them. I can only cross my fingers that this young couple shapes their lives around their dog. It can happen–I’ve adapted and adapted and things are OK–not as good as I would have hoped back when I adopted my female, and then 2 years later when I adopted my male (who still hadn’t found a home after 2 years). I’ve had to make adjustments due to their physical and social challenges, but still, we’re OK and it can be done, providing the owner is willing to do that kind of work.

Still, I agree with Grisha and her beloved Peanut. As much as I love my two dogs, I will choose way more carefully next time.
Beth Says:
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Oh how I wish I had read your article before I adopted my dog. I recently adopted a dog that was 4 1/2 y. o. from a shelter. He’d been re-homed twice before for “marking & barking” and the family “just didn’t have time for him”. I was a first time dog owner, and follwed my heart not my head. I returned him after 2 weeks, and it was a gut wrenching decision as I had bonded with him and fell in love with him.

He was a great dog, but he had horrible separation anxiety which I knew nothing about (he didn’t mark/bark at all when I was home – it was really just a symptom of the underlying problem which was an inability to be left alone). I am single, and work full time. Even with a dog walker I felt like he needed someone who would be home more – altho since I was a first time owner it was hard to tell – would more time help? If so, how much and if I let it go on too long could I ever bring him back? I saw a private trainer and a vet who suggested puppy prozac. Instead, he is now in a new (and hopefully forever) home on a farm, with 3 other dogs, and a family, who will take him to work (own their own business) so he will never be alone again. I, however, and heartbroken, feel terribly guilty, and am fearful of adopting a dog from a shelter again. And I miss him so much.

Great article and great advice. I learned this very heartbreaking lesson the hard way!
Grisha Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Karen & Beth, it sounds like you both took a lot of time to think through the decision to return the dog, and for both dogs, I think it was the right thing to do. The very fact that you continue to beat yourself up over it means you are both thoughtful people that have the whole picture – the dog’s interest and your own. Rehabilitation takes time, energy, and, usually, money, and in the case of Karen’s dog, I think that even then may not have been safe. Beth, it seems like the ideal situation for the dog, and if you hadn’t adopted and returned him, he might not have been available for that perfect family out on a farm! Separation Anxiety *is* best dealt with with both meds and training, but even then, you need to have time home to do it, like a week or two of not having to be anywhere else as you get the dog used to your absence.

Yes, shelter dogs often have some sort of baggage, but at least we know what it is, either right away, or within a month or two. Sometimes it’s more like carry-on than true baggage! My easiest dog ever, Spoon, came from a shelter at 7 months old. A puppy takes a long time to show the big issues, which come with maturity, between 1-3 years of age. Dogs are always a risk, but it’s so worth it to give our hearts to them. Someone had recommended getting a dog from a rescue place that would carefully screen. I think that would be great for you, Beth, as it would be another person, with experience, that could help you decide. I also think bringing a trainer with you would be helpful, someone who would interview you in advance about your lifestyle and then go help you pick a dog.

Best of luck to both of you!
Grisha Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Nancy, you nailed it. Keep the ones we have, give them what they need, and choose better next time! I am continually impressed by the progress Peanut makes, even now, at 6 1/2 years old. That joy is definitely an amazing thing to have in my life. That said, being able to take him anywhere without concern for whether he’ll freak out would be pretty joyful, too, but more of an everyday sort.
Beth Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Grisha,

Thank you. I know in my heart that “Lucky” is better off in his new home where he isn’t left alone all day. I pray everyday that he is happy and settling in…he deserves a good life. And I am grateful that I got to play a small part in his life and getting him to his new home. It still hurts…but I’ve also learned that loving a dog sometimes means letting go. It really helps to picture him out running around on the farm with his new brothers/sisters (from what I heard they get along great) vs. baby gated in my kitchen, scared and alone.

I will not give up on dogs, or shelter dogs, but will choose more wisely next time. Since the shelter didn’t know about the S.A. I wouldn’t have known that but could have paid more attn. to the red flags. I like the idea of having a trainer help. Thanks – I know the right dog is in my future…!

Beth
Cathy Wright Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Thanks for this very helpful post. I have tremendous admiration for those of you who have been willing to take on dogs with behavior problems, and my heart goes out to those who have made the difficult decision to return dogs that were not a good match for your family. My husband and I had very good experiences adopting both our dogs from a shelter, largely because someone advised us rookie dog owners to make a list of traits we wanted in a dog before we went to the shelter. Since our list was pretty extensive we were surprised that we were able to find our ideal dogs very quickly.

One very important thing we’ve realized is that although these dogs are perfect for us and our lifestyle, they would not be right for everyone. Both of them are large, powerful dogs (the small one weighs about 80 lbs). They require several walks a day and a certain amount of training and control simply due to their size and energy. This is perfect for us and our lifestyle, but it could have been disastrous if they had been adopted by a family that wasn’t prepared to handle them and adopted them out of pity. One of our dogs had in fact been adopted and returned to the shelter once.

I strongly disagree with the idea that first time dog owners should always start with a puppy. Puppies are wonderful, but I don’t think a puppy would have fit as well into our lifestyle as our adult dogs. For those of you who have had difficult experiences with rescue/shelter dogs, please don’t give up on the idea of adopting from a shelter or rescue! There are many wonderful dogs available.
Grisha Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Thanks, Cathy. I appreciate your thoughtful answer and I found myself nodding at several places along the way! I agree 100%

You gave an excellent example of how the perfect dog for you is not the perfect dog for somebody else. And possibly not even the perfect dog for you decades from now, when a smaller dog or a big dog that needs less exercise would be more suitable.
Nancy Says:
May 30th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Nice points here. I had forgotten about this blog and happened upon and everyone’s talking! I know my male dog would not be considered adoptable by most shelters so I know he’s mine forever and like Cathy just now said, he fits OK into my life. I love dogs so much that I’m willing to change to keep them–in his case, take him on shorter walks because of his disability, and be his advocate about people rushing to pet him. He’s not dangerous, but he certainly knows how to, er, take care of things himself if need be (like if somebody tried to give him a hug).

What I like about having a dog with behaviorial and physical disabilities is how much I’ve grown by having him. I am the first one to speak up–whether it’s to kids who want to hug or pet him, or to vets who want to go to town examining him (he has a lot of physical issues).

I’ve gone from the old-fashioned punishment training, which I always figured worked well enough, over to clicker training, which has opened my eyes to a whole new world (I’ll never go back). I’ve met so many great people, and a couple of great behaviorists and vets, because of this dog.

As difficult as he can be at times (trust me, I had company last weekend and kept him on a leash, and that’s not the easiest thing to do for a whole weekend but it worked out fine), I’m learning to expand and train where I can, and accept and adjust accordingly.

Still–like I said earlier, next time I’ll take my list! This morning my dogs and I watched a man throw a ball to his hairy dog, who could have been their cousin they look so alike, and that dog came back every time and paid no attention to anyone else.

Ah the dream . . .
Kyra Collins Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 am
I have been fostering & placing Jack Russell terriers in the PNW region since 2006. We try very hard to match each rescue Jack with adopters & a home situation which will work best for both parties. I read this blog with appreciation & pleasure. From a rescue point of view, one of my biggest peeves is adopters who insist on selecting a lifetime companion on physical appearance instead of observed behaviour & temperament. Many adopters not only want to somehow duplicate a previous deceased pet in looks but ALSO think that some magic “adoption wand” will eliminate the behaviour issues which we candidly discuss with them prior to placement. If I tell someone a dog has separation anxiety and needs to be crated during prolonged absences, it does not do the dog any kindness to leave him loose for 9 hours in a three story home and then go ballistic when the house has been trashed by a terrified lonely dog (one notable case).
As a rescue we pride ourselves on finding matches which will work for the lifetime of the dog, BUT adopters who don’t really listen (“NO cats!” really does mean NO CATS) or who think their love is going to effect an instant miracle which months of patient experienced fostering has not achieved are really one of our biggest pains in the butt. I will NOT place a potential cat killer in a home with cats however much someone begs & pleads & thinks they know better. Actually, whenever someone tells me they “know all about” Jacks (this based on having ONE dog before who either just happened to be a super easy terrier or who wasn’t but they have glossed all the difficulties over in their minds because for the last few years the dog was geriatric & not much trouble!), I immediately assume the worst. No one knows “all about” dogs – that is one thing I have learned from years of working with them. You learn something new every day. Adoption requires keeping that open mind which is willing to learn new things plus an enormous level of commitment. A good adoption is a joy for everyone concerned – the dog first ! and the adopter of course – and the rescue.
Trainer Says:
August 12th, 2009 at 3:59 am
Great post, thanks. I’d just like to add beware of getting an older dog from a breeder as well. I knew I didn’t have time for a puppy so adopted a 7 month old dog. I asked lots of questions and I was assured that he was well-socialised but nothing could’ve been further from the truth! I hadn’t met him before buying him, he was flown to me, but trusted the breeder. He was frightened of other dogs and people, I couldn’t walk him with my other two dogs as he needed one-on-one work. I did my best, and thankfully I’m a positive dog trainer so knew what I was doing, but I reached breaking point when I couldn’t stop him marking in the house because I was at work all day (possibly because he’d only been desexed shortly before I got him), which meant my other dog started marking too and clearing up pee every time I came home was just too much. Since I was working full-time I really didn’t have the time to improve his behaviour; if I’d have thought I had time to housetrain and socialise I’d have got a pup!

Giving him up was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but a friend who has the same breed took him for me and now he’s got a great life. I hope people can learn from my mistake, as I have. Always meet the dog you’re going to adopt, even if you think they’re coming from someone you can trust.

Comments? Thoughts? (Please use our contact form instead to email a dog trainer.)

Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:19 pm

I’m sure these people are intelligent, warm, and caring if they are Grisha’s friends. However, the number one success factor in rescue dog adoption is that it has to be “all about the dog”. Having been a rescue dog charity volunteer, all the points regarding the couple’s needs and situation would disqualify them from adopting the Shar Pei if I were the one doing the adoption assessment. Recently I adopted a Chihuahua-terrier mix rescue, given up for adoption TWICE BEFORE and he’s not yet 3. Silly me, I had the attitude of “he’s so sweet, quiet and loving, why would anybody give him away?”. Well, in animal behaviorist lingo, he was “flooded”, completely shut down and therefore docile. It was not until he relaxed after several weeks (more than a 7 day trial) when the behavior emerged that probably got him dumped. Luckily I’ve been out of work for since I adopted him 5 months ago because I needed the free time to invest into getting him to be the awesome dog he wants to be! That has involved Ahimsa’s Barky Dog class at first, but it was apparent he needed professional help from sessions with an animal behaviorist. Then there was the need to surgically repair an umbilical hernia. Total cost: $1,200 and this doesn’t include his $450 adoption fee! So, please, lovely friends of Grisha, wait to adopt until your life can truly accommodate the special needs of a rescue dog. You and the lucky dog will be glad you waited!

Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I thought of a compromise solution: become foster family for a rescue dog charity in your new city. I fostered 6 dogs in the 8 months I was a foster parent. Given the economy, you may have the dog for a few months. Yes, you will fall in love a little with your foster dog, but the joy of seeing them placed with the perfect family will make you feel GREAT!

Grisha Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Fostering is not a bad idea, Sandi! It’s a way to help a dog out and test-drive the idea of having a dog at the same time.

Humble Reader Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

Grisha~

A well written, well reasoned article. My thoughts have mostly to do with the overall tone that is used in this article that is written about your friends. It feels to me when I read this that there is a certain righteous indignation underlying your words. I have recently adopted a dog and gone through exactly the process that you outline above. In my particular case, the person making the match at the adoption agency really knew their animals and suggested the perfect match for me, thus avoiding many of the issues above.

However, were it not for this knowledge and guidance, I feel I would have fallen prey to my own enthusiasm and kind intentions (good attributes in anyone working with adopted animals) and perhaps landed with a match that was not as solid. It is obvious to me that you are quite knowledgeable about working with animals and I can hear your compassion and kindness for these dogs. At the same time, I can also see where the couple is coming from. None of the things that you have said about this scenario strike me as untrue, but I wonder if they are unkind?

Thanks for the good read,
Humble reader

Sandi Curry Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Exactly! Reputable dog rescues will quickly rehome the dog with another foster family if the placement doesn’t work out. There is really no down side to being a foster home. You have the dog, behavioral “warts” and all, until someone shows interest in adoption, at which time you can decide to make the informed commitment yourself.

Grisha Says:
April 16th, 2009 at 8:17 pm

Humble reader, thanks for your thoughts. I was frustrated at being ignored, so that might have come through as righteous indignation. It didn’t even really sink in, until the evening and the next morning, that my advice *was* being completely ignored, so I don’t think I sounded that way to my friends.

I am more blunt in this post than I could ever be in person, but is that really unkind? Is a doctor who tells you that you have cancer being unkind, or simply giving bad news? Unkind, I think, would be not being brutally honest about the pairing’s red flags.

Carol A. Byrnes, CPDT Says:
April 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Grisha, as always, your articles are timely and informative and this one is outstanding!

I am adding a link to the Behavior FAQ section of my website (thank you for giving your permission!) in the hopes that those considering adopting a new dog will hear your words echoing as they make that journey and go into the process with their eyes wide open and having done their homework.

You and I have lived with dogs with issues and know what a huge impact it makes on our lives, even with all our years of experience to train, manage and rehabilitate to the best of our abilities. We are faced with daily requests for help from heart broken pet owners who just wanted to give the perfect home to a wonderful family dog who would enrich their lives, but instead are held hostage by a dog who is at best, simply a management issue, and at worst, a danger to themselves and others. We’ve been the support system for people who are facing parting with a pet they have grown to love. Proper selection and screening of both dog and human by knowledgable breeders/shelter/rescue staff could have prevented so many of these sad situations.

All the best and thank you again for sharing this important message to use your head as well as your heart and ask for guidance when embarking on the search for a new canine life partner.

Carol A. Byrnes, CPDT
Spokane, WA

Free Basic Dog Training Tips Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 6:12 am

Yes I also agree that it is very important to really consider whether it will be a good match. Prospective dog owners should do more reseach before making any final decisions. My suggestion would be that first time owners should rather buy a puppy from a reputable breeder who can also give them guidance in raising the puppy. They should enroll in a dog training school where they can get further guidance, rather than adopting a dog that might already have behaviour problems. I’m also all for adoption, but then rather by people who have a better knowlegde and understanding of dogs.

Jill Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Humble Reader says: “None of the things that you have said about this scenario strike me as untrue, but I wonder if they are unkind?”

If you’re speaking the truth, I don’t think it’s relevant to classify it as “kind” or “unkind” – it’s the truth, plain and simple.

Laying out the owners lifestyle and the particular dog’s characteristics is doing analysis in search of determining whether there is a good match. If you find it’s a good match, it’s no more “kind” than if it’s a bad match.

Sure the news FEELS different to the receipient, but the person doing the analysis, is not being “kind” or “unkind”, they are simply doing the analysis.

Furthermore, I hope people can appreciate that this analysis was done because these people were friends of Grisha’s – meaning that it was done pro-bono. And in my book, this is very “kind”. So I think rather than focusing on the conclusion and labeling it “unkind” because often people don’t like to be told “no, you shouldn’t do this thing you want to do”, we should focus on the very generous and compassionate gesture in spending the time to evaluate the dog and write up a detailed analysis, so that others might benefit.

Grisha Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 1:02 pm

I disagree with the idea that first time dog owners *must* get a puppy. There is so much to do when you raise a puppy and time is so critical. A new dog owner may easily fall for the advice from an old-school vet that says don’t take them anywhere until the puppy has all of their shots. With an older dog, each mistake the new dog owner makes is less risky, because the dog is already ‘cooked,’ so to speak. There’s little to no housetraining, the dog needs less vet visits, etc.

And if it turns out they aren’t dog people, after all, they haven’t stolen the dog’s puppyhood, then returned it to the breeder when it’s less cute.

With a adult dog, the temperament is already obvious, so you’ll see it in the beginning, at the very least, in the first few months. There are a LOT of shelter and rescue dogs that are perfect for first-time dog owners. They just need to be matched up well by the adoption folks. Spoon, my border collie / bassett hound came from the shelter at 7-9 months. She’s a dream of a dog, easy enough for anybody.

So all I’m saying is that there are arguments from both sides – puppy versus rescue dog – for first-time dog owners.

Laura at Dartmouth Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 11:03 am

So, what’s the verdict? Did your friends opt to keep or return the dog?

Grisha Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 11:09 am

They said that they returned the dog. However the rescue reported soon after on Petfinder that she’d been adopted, and that’s still the official status. So she’s either with them or (hopefully) in a more appropriate home.

Karen T. Says:
May 13th, 2009 at 6:13 pm

My husband and I, while not being “seasoned” dog owners, have had dogs in our lives. When our beloved Rottie died, we decided to go teh rescue route. We found a 7 month old pup at a shelter and took him home after he met our other dog and they seemed to get along well. We knew he had kennel cough when we brought him home. He growled and mildly threatened me when I foolishly tried to grab his dog dish to put in his meds. That sent us to a behaviorist and a $200.00 (I think) bill. Kennel cough quickly progressed to pneumonia and a $2000.00 bill. We were as ok as you can be with that because we thought we had found our forever dog. Unfortunately, that dog , once he was well, showed his true colors. Basically, he was 80 pounds of pure muscle and issues. He bit me two more times, the last time drawing blood. The more I walked and exercised him, the worse he got. He bullied our dog until he was scared to come near him and I was scared he was going to injure him seriously. We made the agonizing decision to return him because we knew he was a time bomb waiting to go off and we did not have 24 hours in a day to rehabilitate him. We took him back to be euthanized and are haunted by that decision to this day. We know we did the right thing. It still tears us up.

Bringing a dog into your home is serious business. Listen to Grisha.

Nancy Says:
May 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am

What a great blog post. I have adopted 3 dogs in my adult life (we had BYB dogs growing up) and the first one was perfect. Oh, she was energetic but confident (not pushy) and fun to be around. I was young, just out of college, and she really shaped me. I learned to be WAY more responsible because of her.

I adopted two littermates (2 years apart) and they’ve been more of a challenge. But because I make the commitment for life, I’m doing the best I can. They are shy, have physical challenges (all kinds of genetic disorders, including personality), and once again my life is being shaped by them. I can only cross my fingers that this young couple shapes their lives around their dog. It can happen–I’ve adapted and adapted and things are OK–not as good as I would have hoped back when I adopted my female, and then 2 years later when I adopted my male (who still hadn’t found a home after 2 years). I’ve had to make adjustments due to their physical and social challenges, but still, we’re OK and it can be done, providing the owner is willing to do that kind of work.

Still, I agree with Grisha and her beloved Peanut. As much as I love my two dogs, I will choose way more carefully next time.

Beth Says:
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 pm

Oh how I wish I had read your article before I adopted my dog. I recently adopted a dog that was 4 1/2 y. o. from a shelter. He’d been re-homed twice before for “marking & barking” and the family “just didn’t have time for him”. I was a first time dog owner, and follwed my heart not my head. I returned him after 2 weeks, and it was a gut wrenching decision as I had bonded with him and fell in love with him.

He was a great dog, but he had horrible separation anxiety which I knew nothing about (he didn’t mark/bark at all when I was home – it was really just a symptom of the underlying problem which was an inability to be left alone). I am single, and work full time. Even with a dog walker I felt like he needed someone who would be home more – altho since I was a first time owner it was hard to tell – would more time help? If so, how much and if I let it go on too long could I ever bring him back? I saw a private trainer and a vet who suggested puppy prozac. Instead, he is now in a new (and hopefully forever) home on a farm, with 3 other dogs, and a family, who will take him to work (own their own business) so he will never be alone again. I, however, and heartbroken, feel terribly guilty, and am fearful of adopting a dog from a shelter again. And I miss him so much.

Great article and great advice. I learned this very heartbreaking lesson the hard way!

Grisha Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 7:02 am

Karen & Beth, it sounds like you both took a lot of time to think through the decision to return the dog, and for both dogs, I think it was the right thing to do. The very fact that you continue to beat yourself up over it means you are both thoughtful people that have the whole picture – the dog’s interest and your own. Rehabilitation takes time, energy, and, usually, money, and in the case of Karen’s dog, I think that even then may not have been safe. Beth, it seems like the ideal situation for the dog, and if you hadn’t adopted and returned him, he might not have been available for that perfect family out on a farm! Separation Anxiety *is* best dealt with with both meds and training, but even then, you need to have time home to do it, like a week or two of not having to be anywhere else as you get the dog used to your absence.

Yes, shelter dogs often have some sort of baggage, but at least we know what it is, either right away, or within a month or two. Sometimes it’s more like carry-on than true baggage! My easiest dog ever, Spoon, came from a shelter at 7 months old. A puppy takes a long time to show the big issues, which come with maturity, between 1-3 years of age. Dogs are always a risk, but it’s so worth it to give our hearts to them. Someone had recommended getting a dog from a rescue place that would carefully screen. I think that would be great for you, Beth, as it would be another person, with experience, that could help you decide. I also think bringing a trainer with you would be helpful, someone who would interview you in advance about your lifestyle and then go help you pick a dog.

Best of luck to both of you!

Grisha Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 7:04 am

Nancy, you nailed it. Keep the ones we have, give them what they need, and choose better next time! I am continually impressed by the progress Peanut makes, even now, at 6 1/2 years old. That joy is definitely an amazing thing to have in my life. That said, being able to take him anywhere without concern for whether he’ll freak out would be pretty joyful, too, but more of an everyday sort.

Beth Says:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:08 am

Grisha,

Thank you. I know in my heart that “Lucky” is better off in his new home where he isn’t left alone all day. I pray everyday that he is happy and settling in…he deserves a good life. And I am grateful that I got to play a small part in his life and getting him to his new home. It still hurts…but I’ve also learned that loving a dog sometimes means letting go. It really helps to picture him out running around on the farm with his new brothers/sisters (from what I heard they get along great) vs. baby gated in my kitchen, scared and alone.

I will not give up on dogs, or shelter dogs, but will choose more wisely next time. Since the shelter didn’t know about the S.A. I wouldn’t have known that but could have paid more attn. to the red flags. I like the idea of having a trainer help. Thanks – I know the right dog is in my future…!

Beth

Cathy Wright Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Thanks for this very helpful post. I have tremendous admiration for those of you who have been willing to take on dogs with behavior problems, and my heart goes out to those who have made the difficult decision to return dogs that were not a good match for your family. My husband and I had very good experiences adopting both our dogs from a shelter, largely because someone advised us rookie dog owners to make a list of traits we wanted in a dog before we went to the shelter. Since our list was pretty extensive we were surprised that we were able to find our ideal dogs very quickly.

One very important thing we’ve realized is that although these dogs are perfect for us and our lifestyle, they would not be right for everyone. Both of them are large, powerful dogs (the small one weighs about 80 lbs). They require several walks a day and a certain amount of training and control simply due to their size and energy. This is perfect for us and our lifestyle, but it could have been disastrous if they had been adopted by a family that wasn’t prepared to handle them and adopted them out of pity. One of our dogs had in fact been adopted and returned to the shelter once.

I strongly disagree with the idea that first time dog owners should always start with a puppy. Puppies are wonderful, but I don’t think a puppy would have fit as well into our lifestyle as our adult dogs. For those of you who have had difficult experiences with rescue/shelter dogs, please don’t give up on the idea of adopting from a shelter or rescue! There are many wonderful dogs available.

Grisha Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Thanks, Cathy. I appreciate your thoughtful answer and I found myself nodding at several places along the way! I agree 100%

You gave an excellent example of how the perfect dog for you is not the perfect dog for somebody else. And possibly not even the perfect dog for you decades from now, when a smaller dog or a big dog that needs less exercise would be more suitable.

Nancy Says:
May 30th, 2009 at 8:50 am

Nice points here. I had forgotten about this blog and happened upon and everyone’s talking! I know my male dog would not be considered adoptable by most shelters so I know he’s mine forever and like Cathy just now said, he fits OK into my life. I love dogs so much that I’m willing to change to keep them–in his case, take him on shorter walks because of his disability, and be his advocate about people rushing to pet him. He’s not dangerous, but he certainly knows how to, er, take care of things himself if need be (like if somebody tried to give him a hug).

What I like about having a dog with behaviorial and physical disabilities is how much I’ve grown by having him. I am the first one to speak up–whether it’s to kids who want to hug or pet him, or to vets who want to go to town examining him (he has a lot of physical issues).

I’ve gone from the old-fashioned punishment training, which I always figured worked well enough, over to clicker training, which has opened my eyes to a whole new world (I’ll never go back). I’ve met so many great people, and a couple of great behaviorists and vets, because of this dog.

As difficult as he can be at times (trust me, I had company last weekend and kept him on a leash, and that’s not the easiest thing to do for a whole weekend but it worked out fine), I’m learning to expand and train where I can, and accept and adjust accordingly.

Still–like I said earlier, next time I’ll take my list! This morning my dogs and I watched a man throw a ball to his hairy dog, who could have been their cousin they look so alike, and that dog came back every time and paid no attention to anyone else.

Ah the dream . . .

Kyra Collins Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 am

I have been fostering & placing Jack Russell terriers in the PNW region since 2006. We try very hard to match each rescue Jack with adopters & a home situation which will work best for both parties. I read this blog with appreciation & pleasure. From a rescue point of view, one of my biggest peeves is adopters who insist on selecting a lifetime companion on physical appearance instead of observed behaviour & temperament. Many adopters not only want to somehow duplicate a previous deceased pet in looks but ALSO think that some magic “adoption wand” will eliminate the behaviour issues which we candidly discuss with them prior to placement. If I tell someone a dog has separation anxiety and needs to be crated during prolonged absences, it does not do the dog any kindness to leave him loose for 9 hours in a three story home and then go ballistic when the house has been trashed by a terrified lonely dog (one notable case).
As a rescue we pride ourselves on finding matches which will work for the lifetime of the dog, BUT adopters who don’t really listen (“NO cats!” really does mean NO CATS) or who think their love is going to effect an instant miracle which months of patient experienced fostering has not achieved are really one of our biggest pains in the butt. I will NOT place a potential cat killer in a home with cats however much someone begs & pleads & thinks they know better. Actually, whenever someone tells me they “know all about” Jacks (this based on having ONE dog before who either just happened to be a super easy terrier or who wasn’t but they have glossed all the difficulties over in their minds because for the last few years the dog was geriatric & not much trouble!), I immediately assume the worst. No one knows “all about” dogs – that is one thing I have learned from years of working with them. You learn something new every day. Adoption requires keeping that open mind which is willing to learn new things plus an enormous level of commitment. A good adoption is a joy for everyone concerned – the dog first ! and the adopter of course – and the rescue.

Trainer Says:
August 12th, 2009 at 3:59 am

Great post, thanks. I’d just like to add beware of getting an older dog from a breeder as well. I knew I didn’t have time for a puppy so adopted a 7 month old dog. I asked lots of questions and I was assured that he was well-socialised but nothing could’ve been further from the truth! I hadn’t met him before buying him, he was flown to me, but trusted the breeder. He was frightened of other dogs and people, I couldn’t walk him with my other two dogs as he needed one-on-one work. I did my best, and thankfully I’m a positive dog trainer so knew what I was doing, but I reached breaking point when I couldn’t stop him marking in the house because I was at work all day (possibly because he’d only been desexed shortly before I got him), which meant my other dog started marking too and clearing up pee every time I came home was just too much. Since I was working full-time I really didn’t have the time to improve his behaviour; if I’d have thought I had time to housetrain and socialise I’d have got a pup!

Giving him up was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but a friend who has the same breed took him for me and now he’s got a great life. I hope people can learn from my mistake, as I have. Always meet the dog you’re going to adopt, even if you think they’re coming from someone you can trust.